One October night during freshers’ week, there was an American ‘frat’ themed party at a local student indie night. In an excited and quite possibly delusional state, I assumed this meant fancy dress and turned my room upside searching for the cheerleader uniform I’d been waiting to wear for the past 2 years. Got to the club…it wasn’t fancy dress – nobody was dressed up, not even the freshers. Profanities spilled from my mouth like word vomit as I waited 15 minutes for a vodka & coke as my lovely flatmates put stickers in my hair – obviously I didn’t notice/didn’t care until I caught the eye of a tall blonde guy across the bar. He walked over and said “Can I sing you a song?”, I reluctantly agreed as he sang: “That girl with 5 stickers in her hair” to me and ripped them from my high pony tail.
Half an hour later I had stacked it on the dance floor, cried, then cried more because my mascara had gone in my eyes and I was now “BLIND”. After my recovery Keen Kevin (he wasn’t actually called Kevin), came over again
(he didn’t see me stack it) for a chat where he charmed me with his Game of Thrones knowledge and we exchanged numbers. I’d be lying if I wasn’t very smug about this as Kevin as we say in England was “WELL FIT”.
The next day we chatted via text and he invited me to a house party, I declined because well I’d only just met him and we know what happens at house parties don’t we? During general chit-chat he divulged to me that he is a vegetarian and bragged that he used to be a vegan. Now I know a lot of you may see this as a serious plus but I’m really not into the whole ‘preachy vegetarian’ thing which he really, really was and kind of wanted to end things right there. After much discussion with my panel of dating experts (the galz), they said it’s probably not an okay thing to bin someone off for so I continued talking to Kevin despite his dietary requirements. The next day I thought “fuck it”, and agreed to go on a date with Keen Kevin, we had drinks near the harbour whilst he talked about himself/the environment at length and turned everything into a philosophical quote whilst I tried to stay conscious. There was no spark there, not even a flicker in my opinion but Keen Kevin didn’t seem to take the hint and proceeded to annoy me for the following 3/4 days. Trying to meet up everyday to which I made up a half arse excuse like “I’m making a pasta bake then ringing Hollie”. Still he didn’t get it. To the point where he actually invited himself round – this was the final straw.
SERIOUSLY DUDE, GIVE IT A REST!?!
Yeah, there’s no real moral here but I thought you might enjoy my first ‘dating dating’ experience, which I’m not that fussed about doing again anytime soon.