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Faith Dates: Keen Kevin

tumblr_n24hnr8Qzk1rufg6eo4_1280 One October night during freshers’ week, there was an American ‘frat’ themed party at a local student indie night. In an excited and quite possibly delusional state, I assumed this meant fancy dress and turned my room upside searching for the cheerleader uniform I’d been waiting to wear for the past 2 years. Got to the club…it wasn’t fancy dress – nobody was dressed up, not even the freshers. Profanities spilled from my mouth like word vomit as I waited 15 minutes for a vodka & coke as my lovely flatmates put stickers in my hair – obviously I didn’t notice/didn’t care until I caught the eye of a tall blonde guy across the bar. He walked over and said “Can I sing you a song?”, I reluctantly agreed as he sang: “That girl with 5 stickers in her hair” to me and ripped them from my high pony tail.

Half an hour later I had stacked it on the dance floor, cried, then cried more because my mascara had gone in my eyes and I was now “BLIND”. After my recovery Keen Kevin (he wasn’t actually called Kevin), came over again (he didn’t see me stack it) for a chat where he charmed me with his Game of Thrones knowledge and we exchanged numbers. I’d be lying if I wasn’t very smug about this as Kevin as we say in England was “WELL FIT”.

The next day we chatted via text and he invited me to a house party, I declined because well I’d only just met him and we know what happens at house parties don’t we? During general chit-chat he divulged to me that he is a vegetarian and bragged that he used to be a vegan. Now I know a lot of you may see this as a serious plus but I’m really not into the whole ‘preachy vegetarian’ thing which he really, really was and kind of wanted to end things right there. After much discussion with my panel of dating experts (the galz), they said it’s probably not an okay thing to bin someone off for so I continued talking to Kevin despite his dietary requirements. The next day I thought “fuck it”, and agreed to go on a date with Keen Kevin, we had drinks near the harbour whilst he talked about himself/the environment at length and turned everything into a philosophical quote whilst I tried to stay conscious. tumblr_ndbw80dzSO1qfhl14o1_500 There was no spark there, not even a flicker in my opinion but Keen Kevin didn’t seem to take the hint and proceeded to annoy me for the following 3/4 days. Trying to meet up everyday to which I made up a half arse excuse like “I’m making a pasta bake then ringing Hollie”. Still he didn’t get it. To the point where he actually invited himself round – this was the final straw. image1 image2

SERIOUSLY DUDE, GIVE IT A REST!?!

Yeah, there’s no real moral here but I thought you might enjoy my first ‘dating dating’ experience, which I’m not that fussed about doing again anytime soon.

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Top 10 Etsy Valentine’s cards

Might be a few weeks early but was just having a browse through Etsy and ended up scrawling through their sellers’ Valentine’s cards this year; they’re so witty- I just cannot get enough. So how could I not make a top 10 list? In no particular order, here are 10 of my favourites that are bound to put a smug grin on your significant other’s face…    (Click the pictures for the Etsy site)

1ice cream funny love card . Valentines you make my raspberry ripple . I love my boyfriend anniversary cards . birthday girlfriend

This one comes courtesy from YourMumRang , a London based seller with a variety of cheeky food related cards painted delicately with water-colours.

2Funny Valentine card - I heart your penis  valentines day card- Hand drawn

For those of you who don’t like to beat around the bush (hahahaha see what I did there?) this one’s right up your street from SmuttyDraws

3.

Shit Bitch You Is Fine -  Snarky Love Note, Valentine or Just Because Card

Which bitch wouldn’t want to receive this fine ass card?!Dewlawdees

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I'm stuck on you - 5"x7" folding card - octopus makes the point - love and humor, valentine's day card, love and humor

How adorable is this?! They also have a range of other animals in their shop so check it out HERE

5

Funny Valentine's Day card / Witty Valentine's Day card / Humor Valentine's Day card / Unique Valentine's Day card

If you’re not really the soppy type like me then maybe this is more your cuppa tea

6

Hand Cut Personalised I Love You More Than.. Valentine's Day or Anniversary Greetings Card

I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this one…

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…A lot of you can probably relate to this one too

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Cute Valentine // Funny Love Card // Friendship Card // Romantic Birthday Card // Card for Him // Card For Her // You're My Favorite Square

This one I’m including purely because I know my good friend Beth will love it, (private joke guys- sorry).

9.

EKone - You're my lobster, Valentines Day Card

This one goes out to all my fellow ‘Friends’ fans

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Funny Valentine's Day Card - You're OK I Guess - Love - Funny - Blank Greeting Card - Simple - Rustic - Brown - Black

For those of you who are playing it cool, but not that cool.

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Faith loves... Reasonclothing.com

Okay, so today I had the pleasure on stumbling across Reason clothing’s website during my procrastination journey through the realms of cyber-space and I LOVE IT. The two things I love most in the world fashion and my cat satire, have been beautifully combined in a range of witty garments. My personal fave being the Prima donna/Prada tee on the left there – if anyone wants to treat me to one please feel free as I’m currently riding the overdraft train!

Oh and by the way, they currently have a sale on so MOVE MOVE MOVE

www.reasonclothing.com

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Faith loves… Reasonclothing.com

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