Life

Faith Dates: Keen Kevin

tumblr_n24hnr8Qzk1rufg6eo4_1280 One October night during freshers’ week, there was an American ‘frat’ themed party at a local student indie night. In an excited and quite possibly delusional state, I assumed this meant fancy dress and turned my room upside searching for the cheerleader uniform I’d been waiting to wear for the past 2 years. Got to the club…it wasn’t fancy dress – nobody was dressed up, not even the freshers. Profanities spilled from my mouth like word vomit as I waited 15 minutes for a vodka & coke as my lovely flatmates put stickers in my hair – obviously I didn’t notice/didn’t care until I caught the eye of a tall blonde guy across the bar. He walked over and said “Can I sing you a song?”, I reluctantly agreed as he sang: “That girl with 5 stickers in her hair” to me and ripped them from my high pony tail.

Half an hour later I had stacked it on the dance floor, cried, then cried more because my mascara had gone in my eyes and I was now “BLIND”. After my recovery Keen Kevin (he wasn’t actually called Kevin), came over again (he didn’t see me stack it) for a chat where he charmed me with his Game of Thrones knowledge and we exchanged numbers. I’d be lying if I wasn’t very smug about this as Kevin as we say in England was “WELL FIT”.

The next day we chatted via text and he invited me to a house party, I declined because well I’d only just met him and we know what happens at house parties don’t we? During general chit-chat he divulged to me that he is a vegetarian and bragged that he used to be a vegan. Now I know a lot of you may see this as a serious plus but I’m really not into the whole ‘preachy vegetarian’ thing which he really, really was and kind of wanted to end things right there. After much discussion with my panel of dating experts (the galz), they said it’s probably not an okay thing to bin someone off for so I continued talking to Kevin despite his dietary requirements. The next day I thought “fuck it”, and agreed to go on a date with Keen Kevin, we had drinks near the harbour whilst he talked about himself/the environment at length and turned everything into a philosophical quote whilst I tried to stay conscious. tumblr_ndbw80dzSO1qfhl14o1_500 There was no spark there, not even a flicker in my opinion but Keen Kevin didn’t seem to take the hint and proceeded to annoy me for the following 3/4 days. Trying to meet up everyday to which I made up a half arse excuse like “I’m making a pasta bake then ringing Hollie”. Still he didn’t get it. To the point where he actually invited himself round – this was the final straw. image1 image2

SERIOUSLY DUDE, GIVE IT A REST!?!

Yeah, there’s no real moral here but I thought you might enjoy my first ‘dating dating’ experience, which I’m not that fussed about doing again anytime soon.

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The British Tag

Hello people who read my blog, I’m Faith and i’m bored so I’m going to do the British tag as I am in fact British. I was born up north in Blackburn, then have lived in Lincolnshire for about 19 years and am now down south for uni so I like to think of myself as multi-regional which you may see reflected in my stupid answers below…

1. How many cups of tea do you have a day and how many sugars?

Am I the only Brit who doesn’t like tea? I’m a coffee/hot chocolate kinda gal

2. Favourite part of your roast?

YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS

 3. Favourite dunking biscuit?

Bourbons, bourbons – bury me in bourbons.

4. Favourite quintessentially British past time?

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, tutting at queue pushers?

 5. Favourite word?

‘Eggnog’ is the first thing that pops into my head and I can’t think of a more sophisticated answer…

 6. Cockney rhyming slang?

My flat mate literally just taught me a load yesterday, ‘put a smile on yer boatrace love’ (boatrace= face)

 7. Favourite sweet?

Stupidly long jelly snakes rock my world

 8. What would your pub be called?

I’d like it to be Harry Potter themed and called “The Chamber of Swagness”, As long as I wouldn’t get sued by JK Rowling

9. No.1 British person?

There’s so many people I could put here but off the top of my head Jimmy Carr

10. Favourite shop/restaurant? 

Zara and well it’s not strictly speaking a restaurant but Spoons (wetherspoons, specifically The Ivy Wall in Spalding)

 11. What British song pops into your head?

SOME WANT TO KISS, SOME WANT TO KICK YOU – THERE’S NOT A NET YOU COULDN’T SLIP THROUGH…

12. Marmite

LOVE

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