After applying on a whim, I was shocked and flattered that I received a reply from the designer in question only a few hours after I’d sent my email. The job was on none other than Regent Street, right next to Calvin Klein no less which was kind of a WOW moment from seeing as a few short months ago I was wearing a hairnet and baseball cap to work with the Greggs logo brandished across my forehead… ANYWHERE is better than Greggs! I even bought a dress especially, the famous black & white tweed number from the Lana Del Rey collection at H&M – which I’ve been lusting after for what feels like an eternity!
Unfortunately I didn’t look quite as good as Lana here, on the day of my interview it absolutely pissed it down – my hair was all damp and horrible and by the time I got there I resembled a drowned rat, sporting slightly smudged eye makeup and bright pink Barry M lipstick. It took over 2 and a half hours on the National Express bus from Southampton, costing an extra £5 on top to change the time which I wasn’t overly thrilled about- so anyway, I got off the tube at Oxford Circus, I had allowed myself some extra time to locate the building which I found was necessary and had a bit of a wander around some designer stores such as Guess, which I blatenly couldn’t afford but the shop assistants were lovely never the less!
So anyway, I nervously went to the building where my interview was being held and signed in – was even given a swanky visitors’ pass I’ll have you know! I was a tad early but walked up to the design studio and knocked on the door, there were only two women working there, both were lovely and it was fascinating being in a real studio; decorated with pattern cuttings and framed magazine cuttings where they’d been featured.
I was told to sit down and make myself comfortable etc before the designer began to ask questions, part way through it became apparent to me that she clearly hadn’t read my CV properly, asking questions such as: So you don’t live in London? Would you be okay with updating our data bases? How good are you with InDesign and Photoshop?
All I could do was answer honestly, I clearly didn’t have the sort of past experience they wanted and lived in a rather inconvenient location. At this point I was thinking to myself “Well the only way I’m getting this job is if the other candidates are recent escapees from London Zoo”, and quite frankly I’d already decided I didn’t want it – if I made the effort to travel all the way to London and spend over £20 on transport, they should have had the common courtesy to actually read my CV before dragging me to London for a 5 minute interview that could have been conducted over the phone!
Afterwards I wasn’t really in the mood to go shopping so I got the tube back to Victoria to get the next coach home, I’d been really organised and decided to get an open return ticket BUT was blissfully unaware that I had to go and stand in a stupidly slow queue at the ticket office to get it validated before I could board the coach. It was a real “For fuck’s sake” moment.
After waiting for about an hour I was FINALLY able to get the coach back to Southampton, I was quite looking forward to the commute – 2 hours of none stop Lana Del Rey in my headphones with no interruptions: Perfecto! Once again this is me we’re talking about and in my life nothing is ever that simple, which is why I wasn’t at all surprised when the coach broke down in the middle lane of the M27 or whatever because the brakes had just decided not to work anymore.
And if you think I’m exaggerating – you sir are mistaken! Another national express bus came along and made a baracade across the hard shoulder and the first lane so us passengers could get off safely into the freezing cold –
Yeah so erm, it was quite an experience if nothing else…