Life

12 Lies everyone tells you about university

  1. You’re flatmates will be instantly become your life long friends

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You’ll probably end up strongly detesting the majority of them by second year.

  1. You go out every single night and return with wild and ridiculous stories

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  1. Everyone experiments with drugs

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I don’t think weed really counts anymore hun.

  1. That you’ll attend every single lecture and make the most of your massive loan

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Paying £9k to nap everyday could be seen as a waste of money by some…

  1. That you’ll practically live in the library

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lol where’s the library?!

  1. That halls is really, really fun.

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Halls is really, really shit.

  1. That you’ll graduate with a 2:1 and 50 sexual partners

  1. That your long distance relationship will definitely work out

Not gonna happen.

  1. Students eat beans on toast and super-noodles 24/7

If this was true we’d have a generation of very malnourished 20 year olds.

  1. You’ll have loads of opportunities to visit your friends at other unis

Think again…

  1. Your uni is inadequate because it’s not in the guardian top 10

  1. You won’t miss home that much

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Uncategorized

How to cook for less than £2 a day for a week in about 10 minutes

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As a student I know how tight money is rent day but there is no reason for you to starve in order to keep a roof over your head, when you can eat healthily for less than the price of 2 Jagerbombs.

  1. Buy your ingredients in bulk, this means that you can freeze any extras for another day without them going off.
  • You will need:
  • 1X Bag of frozen peppers
  • Pre-prepared stir fry pork
  • Large packet of egg noodles
  • Jar/sachet of sauce of your choice
  • 1x saucepan
  • 1x frying pan
  1. Firstly, put a drop of sunflower oil into your frying pan, add a handful of the pork and continuously stir. Meanwhile add one portion of noodles to your saucepan with 250ml of water, when water boils turn down the heat and allow simmering.
  1. When the meat is no longer pink add a handful of peppers and continue stirring until meat has browned and peppers are no longer frozen. This should only take 5 mins. Add sauce to the pan stirring on a slightly lower heat to avoid it sticking to your pan.
  1. By now your noodles should be ready to be drained, use a collindar or if you don’t have one drain the water with a pan lid. Add noodles to the meat and stir in until fully mixed. If you want to experiment with herbs or spices add them now.
  1. Carefully pour onto a plate and enjoy your meal, put all left over meant and frozen veg into either the freezer/fridge and enjoy throughout the week as a substitute to your usual weekly Chinese. Alternatively cook a big batch and store in tubs so you don’t have to cook.
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Life

Faith Dates: Keen Kevin

tumblr_n24hnr8Qzk1rufg6eo4_1280 One October night during freshers’ week, there was an American ‘frat’ themed party at a local student indie night. In an excited and quite possibly delusional state, I assumed this meant fancy dress and turned my room upside searching for the cheerleader uniform I’d been waiting to wear for the past 2 years. Got to the club…it wasn’t fancy dress – nobody was dressed up, not even the freshers. Profanities spilled from my mouth like word vomit as I waited 15 minutes for a vodka & coke as my lovely flatmates put stickers in my hair – obviously I didn’t notice/didn’t care until I caught the eye of a tall blonde guy across the bar. He walked over and said “Can I sing you a song?”, I reluctantly agreed as he sang: “That girl with 5 stickers in her hair” to me and ripped them from my high pony tail.

Half an hour later I had stacked it on the dance floor, cried, then cried more because my mascara had gone in my eyes and I was now “BLIND”. After my recovery Keen Kevin (he wasn’t actually called Kevin), came over again (he didn’t see me stack it) for a chat where he charmed me with his Game of Thrones knowledge and we exchanged numbers. I’d be lying if I wasn’t very smug about this as Kevin as we say in England was “WELL FIT”.

The next day we chatted via text and he invited me to a house party, I declined because well I’d only just met him and we know what happens at house parties don’t we? During general chit-chat he divulged to me that he is a vegetarian and bragged that he used to be a vegan. Now I know a lot of you may see this as a serious plus but I’m really not into the whole ‘preachy vegetarian’ thing which he really, really was and kind of wanted to end things right there. After much discussion with my panel of dating experts (the galz), they said it’s probably not an okay thing to bin someone off for so I continued talking to Kevin despite his dietary requirements. The next day I thought “fuck it”, and agreed to go on a date with Keen Kevin, we had drinks near the harbour whilst he talked about himself/the environment at length and turned everything into a philosophical quote whilst I tried to stay conscious. tumblr_ndbw80dzSO1qfhl14o1_500 There was no spark there, not even a flicker in my opinion but Keen Kevin didn’t seem to take the hint and proceeded to annoy me for the following 3/4 days. Trying to meet up everyday to which I made up a half arse excuse like “I’m making a pasta bake then ringing Hollie”. Still he didn’t get it. To the point where he actually invited himself round – this was the final straw. image1 image2

SERIOUSLY DUDE, GIVE IT A REST!?!

Yeah, there’s no real moral here but I thought you might enjoy my first ‘dating dating’ experience, which I’m not that fussed about doing again anytime soon.

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Uncategorized

The British Tag

Hello people who read my blog, I’m Faith and i’m bored so I’m going to do the British tag as I am in fact British. I was born up north in Blackburn, then have lived in Lincolnshire for about 19 years and am now down south for uni so I like to think of myself as multi-regional which you may see reflected in my stupid answers below…

1. How many cups of tea do you have a day and how many sugars?

Am I the only Brit who doesn’t like tea? I’m a coffee/hot chocolate kinda gal

2. Favourite part of your roast?

YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS

 3. Favourite dunking biscuit?

Bourbons, bourbons – bury me in bourbons.

4. Favourite quintessentially British past time?

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, tutting at queue pushers?

 5. Favourite word?

‘Eggnog’ is the first thing that pops into my head and I can’t think of a more sophisticated answer…

 6. Cockney rhyming slang?

My flat mate literally just taught me a load yesterday, ‘put a smile on yer boatrace love’ (boatrace= face)

 7. Favourite sweet?

Stupidly long jelly snakes rock my world

 8. What would your pub be called?

I’d like it to be Harry Potter themed and called “The Chamber of Swagness”, As long as I wouldn’t get sued by JK Rowling

9. No.1 British person?

There’s so many people I could put here but off the top of my head Jimmy Carr

10. Favourite shop/restaurant? 

Zara and well it’s not strictly speaking a restaurant but Spoons (wetherspoons, specifically The Ivy Wall in Spalding)

 11. What British song pops into your head?

SOME WANT TO KISS, SOME WANT TO KICK YOU – THERE’S NOT A NET YOU COULDN’T SLIP THROUGH…

12. Marmite

LOVE

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DIY/Tutorials

Okay, I know retouching photos is a tad controversial but for those of you who simply want to rub their ex’s nose in it or just wanna up their “selfie game”, here is my simple guide on how to be artificially good looking.

NOTE: I am using Adobe Photoshop CS4, I realise that not everyone has photoshop but there are many free programs such as GIMP and Paint.Net which have similar/the same tools as I’ll be talking about here.

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  • Let us begin with the acne demolition derby, there are several ways to do this – I like to vary by size/texture etc. So for the big boys I like to use the patch tool: Firstly, circle the little bastard and then once selected drag your cursor to a nice smooth area of skin which fits the tone of the affected area – for example a cheek or forehead. Photoshop will blend this into the original which should give a smooth finish like this………….

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  • Now we’re just left with some beautiful acne scars and sexy pigmentation so for these areas just use either the spot healing tool or the healing tool. The ordinary healing tool works manually, so you would press ALT whilst clicking on a good area to sample from and then click on areas you’d like to cover. The spot healing tool basically does this all for you but can be less accurate – here is the result…

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  • BURN BABY BURN

Next I’m going to use the burn tool to put some shadows on my face – this sounds silly but just think of it like digital contouring. Burn where it says contour and Dodge where it says highlight.

  • So first off, my eyebrows look pathetic so I’m starting with subtly burning along the brow to give a fuller appearance.

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Above is what you’ll get when you finish burning the other areas of your face – pay close attention to your cheekbone.

Then dodge the other areas and you should now have an ok-ish looking photo??

Please note that I have exaggerated the tools for use in an example format but if you want a more ‘natural’ look then less is more! And yes I’m aware that I haven’t smoothed it out but and have a caveman-esque brow in this photo THANK YOU.

If you have any questions or requests please just email me or leave a comment x

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Looks

OOTD – THE £5 WONDER

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I’ve done a lot this summer; girls’ holiday, festivals, working a mundane summer job at 3am 4 days a week…

Needless to say my bank balance has been rather under the weather as of late, meaning my usual “TREAT YO SELF” shopping trips have completely gone out the window! When it comes to style though one must always remain creative and optimistic even on the darkest of days when the Newlook sale is suddenly way beyond your budget. On a trip to Lincoln to see my dear friend Hollie we decided to wander through its vast array of charity shops, which is where I found the H&M snake-print dress for £2.00 (snake print is my guilty pleasure, sorry), it was giving me an Alexa Chung vibe I just couldn’t say no to.

The shoes were actually from the previously mentioned girls’ holiday to the classy land of Kavos, Corfu. We thought it would be a good idea to catch a bus to Corfu Town, in such of fake Ray Bans and passable Mulberry purses – in reality all we found were very rude shop assistants in the few shops which were actually open. The shoes came from one of these very rude shop assistants, even though normally I would have just walked out after receiving such awful service but…well – these shoes were only €5 so I actually bought 2 pairs in different colours oops. I may be wrong here but I think that’s about £3? Giving me a beautiful grand total of FIVE POUNDS!! *Applause for the £5 wonder*

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